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it was good to feel my own flesh again

from yonkala by yonkala

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lyrics

this is my apology
I haunted your house.
I hung on the banister,
hazy and half-silent.
the presence you sensed in
your hallways was me.
the wind that wrapped
your throat was me. but you were
unhappy in that armchair,
slacks slung over the back.
no clinging belt to kiss your fat.
you were sweating with desire.
the ring burned your body and I
thought you were alone-

no, that was me
when she clung to the crib
waiting for the photographer
to capture her.
tiny specks of light and airbrush
snuck in each camera
snap, snap snapped
your back and cracked me,
I stole your pants.
eyes emerging from the
water weight,
I saw myself alive
again.

the familiar fabric
of your pants-pocket
housed riches.
I used your money
to buy cheap rings.
convincing bits of gold and silver
could crowd my hands.
you know how some rings are-
they squeeze the flesh.

my fingernails are angry,
they scratch the surface
of nice men's thighs
and leave light red traces.
where we peeled our skin.
but it was good
to feel my own flesh again.
it was good to feel my own flesh again.
it was good to feel my own flesh again.

credits

from yonkala, released April 6, 2015

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yonkala New York

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